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Desiring a romantic partner is a natural, expected part of adolescence. However, involvement in a serious or exclusive romantic relationship in the preteen/early teen years can create problems. True romantic relationships are about intimacy, or communicating detailed, personal information verbally, and physical contact and closeness. Some believe a teen first needs to form an identity and know who she or he is before developing a healthy intimate relationship. Other experts feel that romantic relationships are a way for teens to learn more about themselves. Many young teens are still defining themselves and romantic relationships may be based on a false sense of intimacy–in other words, teens don't know themselves well enough to share who they are with someone else.

Having a crush in the late elementary school and early middle school years is perfectly natural and part of the biological changes of puberty. Before we can see puberty's physical changes, preteens (aged 8-10) experience an increase in hormones. Greater levels of sex hormones may influence a preteens first romantic feelings. Having a crush is not a problem, but acting on early romantic feelings and biology when a teen is not emotionally or socially ready can lead to problems for early daters.

What Parents and Adults Need to Know About Teen Dating

Even when teens start dating, they are still not as close with romantic partners as they are with their same-sex friends. Still, the security teens feel in their friendships spills over into their feelings of security in their romantic relationships⁴. To add, parents influence those feelings of security. When teens feel secure and supported in their relationships with their parents, they have warm and secure feelings about friendship. As long as dating doesn't start too early in the adolescent years, dating can be a way to learn^4,5:

• cooperation skills and sharing of activities,

• socially appropriate behavior and manners,

• interdependence and companionship,

• compromise,

• empathy and sensitivity, and

• how to develop an intimate, meaningful relationship.

Although most adolescent romantic relationships do not last, first romances are practice for more mature bonds in adulthood. In fact, warm and caring romantic relationships in the teen years tend to lead to satisfying, committed relationships in early adulthood⁴.